Totally Twisted, Unreal, Not Cool Events
by kLmitton
Summary: This is a sequal to If I Am. Origanally called A Series of Unfortunate Events. I can't tell you much, cuz I don't want to give it away. But I can tell you it's got major Pheely. And a surprise ending.
1. No Phil?

**...C.a.P.t.E.r...O.n.E...**

"Perfect! You look hot, Keely," Via commented after spraying her hair. I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a jean skirt and a red cami with my hair wavy.

"I do look good, don't I?" I smiled at her into the mirror. The doorbell rings. "He's here, Vi. Oh, God. I can't do this. I'm a nervous wreck."

"Keely, it's just a date. You'll be fine. Just calm down."

"You're right. It's just a date. There's nothing to be nervous about." As I walked to the door I told myself over and over, "It's just a date. It's just a date." But I was still nervous. I opened the door to a crooked-smiling hottie.

"Hey, Keels."

"Hey, Phil."

_**Flashback**_

"_Here comes another boring day of school," grumbled Pim as she, Lil' Danny Dawkins, Phil, Via, Owen and I walk into the school. It's a crisp cool Monday morning. Green leaves are starting to grow on trees and flowers are blooming. I walk to my locker with Phil. (His is right beside mine.) As I work on the combo on my lock Phil asks, "Keely, what are you doing on Friday?" I open my locker and think. Therapy. Ugh. I only go because it's doctors orders. He doesn't think I can quit bulimia on my own. Which I can't. But I can do it with the help of my best friend._

"_Therapy."_

"_Oh." He looks really upset as he pours us orange juice._

"_Why?" I pull out my math book and walk to his locker._

"_Well, I was gonna ask you out on a… uh, date. But I can see you can't go." I smile as I take a sip of juice. So he does still like me. After our make out session in the hospital three weeks ago, neither of us mentioned it._

"_Oh! Umm, I'm free on Saturday night, if you still wanna go out on, you know, a date." Now it's his turn to smile. _

"_Cool. Pick you up at seven for dinner and a movie?"_

"_Sure!" I give him a peck on the check and run off to find Via. What a perfect Monday!_

_**End of Flashback**_

"Hey, Keels."

"Hey, Phil."

"So, ready to go?"

"Oh, yeah! Just lemme go grab my purse." I ran up to my room, grabbed my purse and walked down with Via. "Okay, let's go. C'ya Vi."

"Bye, have fun." She said while getting into her car.

"Skyak or car?" I asked.

"You choose."

"Let's take the car." It was getting kind of cold, and without a jacket it would get pretty chilly up hundreds or feet in the air.

"Alright." We walked down the steps to the sidewalk where he opened my door to his silver mustang.

"Where're we going?"

"I was thinking maybe Olive Garden. Then we can go to the Regal Cinema. You can choose the movie."

"Cool." I looked at Phil's profile while he drove. He's so cute. How in the world did I end up going out with a guy as great as Phil?

"Keely? Why do you keep looking at me?"

"Oh, sorry. Daydreaming." Phil parked the car and came over to my side to open the door. In the restaurant I ordered the chicken. It tastes so good, but I'm not sure if that's because it's from Olive Garden or because I'm on a date with Phil and anything would taste good right now. Nothing can spoil this date. We're pretty quiet at first. I can tell he's also nervous. I suppose I should start talking. " So, Phil. How's your dad doing on the-"

"Keely! Shh!" Oops, I almost gave away his secret. How dumb can I be? "Uhh, he's not really improving on it. They gave him more hours at the juice bar so he doesn't have much time to work on it."

"Wait, I thought he's the owner. Who is there to give him more hours."

"He hasn't told my mom that he's the owner."

" But it's virtual. He doesn't have to go, does he?"

"No, but he also told my mom that it's a real juice bar. You don't really want to talk about my dad, do you?"

"Not really. I just can't stand the silence. What do you want to talk about?"

"I dunno. What movie should we see?"

"What kind of movie did we see last time?" Dumb question. I picked it out. It was obviously a-

"Chick flick. Remember, you picked it out?" he said.

"Right. Let's mix it up this time. How about a scary movie. The scariest one the theater has."

"There aren't any chick flicks out now, are there?"

"No." Phil knows me all to well.

It turns out that the scariest movie that wasn't sold out was _Madagascar._What a spine shivering movie. But we still watched it. While walking out of the theater we started laughing. "Wow, that was the worst movie ever! I can't believe we saw that," I said between breaths.

"I know. But it was great. Since I was with you." How cheesy is that? I've never heard Phil use a stupid pick up line before.

"Aww! How sweet." I kissed his cheek. "Never use a cheesy line like that again." I shivered. Dang, I forgot a coat. My teeth started to chatter. Phil took or his coat and put it on my shoulders. "Thanks, Phil."

"Don't mention it."

On the way home we talked and talked about nothing. Owen and Via, the shoe sale on next Saturday (which Phil refused to go to) and the new science show on Discovrey Channel (which I refused to watch.) Ya know, stuff like that. When we pulled into my driveway, Phil offered to walk me to my door. I tried to save him the trouble, but he insisted. We were walking up the walkway to my back porch and I looked up.

"Wow! Look at the moon tonight. It's so pretty. And those stars are so shiny." Phil looked up.

"Yeah, they are beautiful." We lay down on the grass and stargazzed for what seemed like forever. "Did you have fun tonight, Keels?"

"Did I have fun? Of coarse I did. Phil, if it's with you, it's fun. Even if we get stuck watching a really dumb movie." We watched the stars some more. I looked at my watch. It was 11:23! "Dang! I'm late for my cerfew!" I jumped off the ground. Phil held his hand up, hinting me to help him up. I pulled him, causing me to fall back down on my butt really hard. "Oww!" Phil started laughing at me. I got up and chased him. When I caught up to him I grabbed his shoulder. We lost our balance and fell down again. I was on top of Phil.

"Aww, Keel! Get off of me!"

"Say you're sorry."

"No." I sat on him harder. "Okay! Okay, I'm sorry." I got off of him and brushed the grass of of me.

"Alright, Phil. I really gotta go. My mom's gonna kill me if I'm any later."

"Oh, fine. Just leave me. Don't you even worry about my feelings." I laughed.

"Come here, Philly Willy." He glared at me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, he wrapped his around my waste. We leaned in a kissed for what felt even more like forever. Finally we broke apart for air. "I gotta go. C'ya later."

"One more kiss? Please?" I grinned and gave him a quick one.

"Bye." I walked off towards the house. Once inside I saw my mom sitting at the table. "Mom! I know I'm late for my cerfew, I just lost track of time. I'm so sorry. I won't be late again." She looks really mad. "Keely, this is the third time this month you've been late. And each time it's because of Phil. If this happens again, there will be no more Phil." No more Phil? Is that even possible?


	2. Handsometown High

No more Phil? No more Phil? NO MORE PHIL? Ain't gonna happen. It can't happen. I ran up to my room and got on IM hoping it would help me forget what my mother just threatened. Phil was on. Good.

**Me: Hey, Phil. Tonight was great. Thanx.**

**Phil: I had a great time, too. I want thinking we could do it again sometime.**

He wants to go out with me again! Yay!

**Me: Yeah, totally.**

Then I remembered what my mom said.

**Me: But it'll have to be in the afternoon.**

**Phil?**

**Me: If I'm late for my cerfew one more time, my mom says I can't hang out with you anymore. I'm not taking any chances.**

None. None at all.

**Phil: You want to be with me that much?**

Duhh!

**Me: Duhh! You are my boyfriend afterall.**

Wait! I just called Phil my boyfriend! We never acually stated being boyfriend/girlfriend

**Me: Uhh, I mean. My friend...That's a boy. You know...A friendboy.**

**Phil: Yeah. A friendboy**

**Phil: Keel, I've been wondering if I could be you boyfriend, not your friendboy.**

YESSSS! YES! YES! YES!

**Me: On one condition...**

**Phil: What's that?**

**Me: You can be my boyfriend if I can be your girlfriend.**

**Phil: Of coarse! So, Saturday 12:00? We can have lunch instead of dinner.**

**Me: Sure. **

I have the best boyfriend ever!

Another Monday. Another week of torture. School. Ugh. We get our tests back in English today. I think I did really well. Maybe a B. I nervously walked into English class and saw my test on my desk. I can't believe it. I got an F! How? Why? My mom is gonna so kill me. Could things get any worse. After class I walked over to Phil's locker. He was there. "Hey, Phil. What's up?" He looks nervous. "Are you okay. You look a little...umm...anxious."

"Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all. Umm, I can't go out with you on Saturday." My heart got heavy.

"Oh. Alright. We can go out another time then." He looked at feet. Something is wrong.

"Uhh. I can't go out with you again ever." Is he breaking up with me? "I hope we can still be friends, though." He is breaking up with me. My heart fell.

"Y-Yeah. Of coarse. I-I gotta go." I ran to the bathroom with tears down my cheeks. I can't believe how awful today is. Why did Phil dump me? You don't just dump someone without a reason. Why did he do this? I guess there's only one thing left to do then. This reporter's going undercover.

_BBBRRRIIINNNGGG!_ The end of school bell rang. I rushed out of the room and ran to the door, jumping in the bushes to wait for Phil. He soon came out and I waited till he was half a block down to start following him. Dodging behind trees, he I stalked him all the way to the park. There on the bench that Phil sat down on was a girl that I recognized as the transfer from Handsometown High. What is he doing talking to her? I watched them for what seemed like forever, but was only five minutes. Phil looked really nervous. The same look he got when I woke up from my coma. Before he kissed me. He leaned in. No! No, no, no, no, no. NO! I ran away from them before their lips touched. I couldn't take it. Phil dumped me for that little sleeze bag! Why? Why would he do this to me? He told me he loved me. And I believed him. I feel tears start to stream down my cheeks. I thought Phil was different. But he's not. He's just like every other guy on this stupid Earth. I reached my house and ran to my bathroom. I did the one thing I had sworn to never do again.

It's now Friday. Therapy day. I silently walked into the room looking down at my feet. "Hello, Keely. How was your week?" asks Diana, my therapists. I can't tell her what I did. So I lie.

"Fine, thanks." I sit down on the sofa and keep staring at my feet.

"Keely, you can lay down you know. That's why we have a sofa, not a chair." She tells me this every week.

"I'm fine sitting." I can feel Diana staring at me. She knows something's wrong. And she knows what I did wrong. I feel trapped. I have to tell her, otherwise she won't stop staring. "Diana..." I can't tell her.

"Yes, Keely?" I don't want to tell her.

"Nothing." I look at the wallpaper behind her. Counting the number of stipres. One, two, three, four... What ugly wallpaper. I look out the window beside her. Memorize the color of the cars. Blue, red, green, silver, red, orange, silver, silver, bue, purple, white, black, black.

"So, what'd you do this week." I've done to many things this week to list.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Nothing at all?" That's what I said didn't I?

"Nothing." We go threw an hour of her asking me questions and me giving short, non-detailed answers. Finally, it's over. I feel bricks on my shoulders. The only way to get them off is to tell Diana. I don't want to. But I have to.

"I forced myself to throw up on Monday." I say quickly before I can change my mind. The bricks are still there. I cry.


	3. Revenge and Strangness

**...c.H.a.P.t.E.r...T.h.R.e.E...**

**Alright, alright. I'm back. I'm not quite sure how this chapter is gonna go, just bear with me. **

I brake down in Diana's office. This sucks. I tell her what's wrong and now I have to go to therapy on Tuesdays also! Ugh! Life is so not fair. I ran out to my car about to go home when I decided I couldn't let my mom see me crying. She'd know something was wrong. And then I'd have to tell her about Phil and about me throwing up. I just couldn't do that. It would break her heart. I remember she was crying for days when she found out I was belumia a few weeks ago, just imagine how she'd react now. Now that I was recovering. No, I'd have to go somewhere else untill my eyes were less poofy. I thought of going to Via. No. I didn't want to tell her either. I don't want to talk to anyone. So I decided to go to the Smoothy Shoppe for a little bit. I walked in and sat in my booth. The booth where I decided I liked Phil. 2 years ago. _Ding! _The bell at the door rang symboling someone has come in. I looked up. There was Phil. And of coarse, little Miss Transfer was there right at his side. I quickly looked back down. I couldn't let Phil see me cry. I searched threw my purse for my cell phone. There's only one thing left to do in this situation. Revenge.

I lay on my bed and think about all that has happened tonight...

_**Flashback...**_

_I looked threw my contacts trying to find the right one. Ah ha! There it is. I clicked okay and waited for him to answer. "Hello, Sweet-thing. What's crackin?" I rolled my eyes. _

_"Would you like to be my-" I took a deep breath. I can't believe I'm doing this. All because of Phil, too. "my, my b-b-boyfriend." I choked out the last word. _

_"Really? You're joking me."_

_"No, sadly, I'm not."_

_"Sure! Do you wanna hang out now?"_

_"Umm," I thought about it. Yes! Let Phil see us. "Sure! Meet me at the Smoothie Shoppe." I hung up and sighed._

_**End Flashback...**_

What have I done? I'm now going out with Owen!

God, it was a disaster in the shoppe...

_**Flashback...**_

_Owen came into the shoppe fifteen minutes later. He looked around and saw me. "Keely, hey!" Phil was in the booth right in front of me. Since he hasn't seen me yet, he looked up when Owen called to me. "Owen!" I said, trying to sound as if I was interested in him. Phil eyes followed the sound of my voice. His eyes locked with mine. There was a strange silence. Someone had to break it. I decided it to be me. Fortunatly, Owen beat me to it. "Differ! Waddup, dawg?" _

_"Hey, Owen. Hey, Keels." Keels. Something I hadn't heard in a long time._

_"Oh. Hi, Phil. What're you doing here?" I asked even though I knew the answer. He squirmed. Good. I smiled my evil little smile._

_"Uhh, I'm here with my uhh, my girlfriend." I didn't want him to think I was sad, so I kept my smile on. _

_"Good. I hope you two are happy together. I'm here with my new boyfriend." Phil looked puzzeled. How cute!_

_"Owen? You're new boyfriend is Owen?"_

_"Well, yeah. He's the only boy I'm hanging out with right now." Phil turned back around. _

_**End Flashback...**_

The rest of the evening involved the same strangness. I didn't talk till Phil again. This is going to be one, interesting, crappy, experience.

**I know! I know! This was short. But as I've said, I have no clue where this is going. Well, I do know what's gonna happen in the stroy, but I just don't know how it's gonna happen. Know what I'm saying?**


	4. IM

**I'm just gonna go over all the reveiws from the beginning, since I forgot to do that.**

**koolishcutie112092: Thanks! You're one of my favorite authors on here!**

**inuyashaandkegomefanforev: Don't worry. They'll eventually be together. Maybe in this chapter, maybe in the next. Them breaking up is not the main point in the story. But it is a major part to what leads to the climax. **

**screwthejedicode786: Umm, sure? Sorry, I'm not very good with metafors. ) **

**Animegirl1129: How can you not like Owen? Don't you see that Owen is a good person in this story? He's helping Phil and Keely get back together. He just doesn't know it...**

**Spoinker: Thanks! You also are one of my favorite authors on here!**

**And now for the story...**

**...c.H.a.P.t.E.r...F.o.U.r...**

"Keely! Keely!" I heard my mom yelling for me. "Via's here." Via walked into my room, looking kinda sad.

"Via, what's up?"

"Is it true you're going out with Owen?" Oops. I forgot to tell her. What a great friend I am.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you. Sorry." I'm not sure, but I think her face fell when I told her. Was she jealous? It can't be. Via's always hated Owen. "Is that okay? I mean, if you wanted to go out with him-"

"What? No! No way at all. You can keep him all to yourself. I'm happy to have him off my back now. Well, congrats." I guess I was just seeing things.

"Thanks." We started some small talk. Well, Via did. I studied her. She looked even more upset than when she came into my room. She does like Owen! Eww. But she won't admit it to me. "Vi, why don't you sleep over at my house tonight?"

"Okay. Thanks. I'll just have to go home to get some things first." Maybe, just maybe I can get her to admit she likes Owen.

About an hour and a half later, Via and I were in our pajama's with popcorn and a movie in the DVD player. It was Sleepless in Seattle. Such a great classic. Half way through the movie, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to tell her. "Vi, I don't really like Owen." She smiled a little bit.

"Then, why are you going out with him?"

"Well, I feel really bad about this, but it's to make Phil jealous."

"Wait a second. You think Phil is going to be jealous of Owen? Owen?" She made a good point. What was I thinking?

"Oh. So, do you want to go out with Owen? I promise I won't tell."

"Duhh! Of coarse I do. I don't know why. It's just...he's so cute." I choked on my pepsi. Cute? What is that girl smoking?

"Uhh, okay." I tried not to laugh. After all, she was never rude when I gushed about Phil. Even though I knew she wanted to strangle me. "Via, I don't want to keep you from dating Owen. I'll break up with him and you can ask him out."

"Keely, I can't. It'll hurt your chances with Phil. Besides, I'm way to shy to ask him out." I smiled. Hooking people up is my favorite thing to do. That and shopping.

"I'll ask him out for you."

"Isn't that like meddling? You know Phil told you not to do that. Not after what happened between Grady and Gracy." **(You need to know about the eppisode Stuck in the Meddle with You to know what I'm talking about.) **

"A.) I'm an independent woman. Phil can't tell me what to do. And B.) It's not meddling. I'm just asking him out for you. C.) It all ended up okay in the end, didn't it?"

"I dunno, Keely. Doesn't that seem a little sixth grade?"

"Fine, then. I guess I just have to keep going out with Owen."

"You can break up with him, but I'm not asking him out."

"I'm not breaking up with him after one day for no reason at all. I can't tell him I was using him."

"Should have thought of that before you asked him out." I threw my pillow at her. "Hey! I'm just telling the truth." She threw it back, leading me to start our pillow fight. We screamed our heads off between laughs. Soon, my mom came into the living room yelling at us to stop screaming and stop pillowfighting. She thought we would break something. "Okay, Mrs. Teslow," Via said between gasps for breath. "Sorry." As soon as my mom closed the door, we started fighting again. Via ran across the room and I threw my pillow at her. Unfortunatly, she dunked, causing my pillow to hit the vase behind her. Which fell down onto the floor.

"Nooo!" I screached as it broke into a million pieces. "My mom's gonna kill me! That was my great-grandmothers vase." Via's eyes went big.

"Wow. We're in trouble." Quickly I ran to the kitchen to grab the broom. I tore threw the kitchen trying to beat my mom to the scene. I got there and quickly tried to sweep up the glass. "Vi, go get the trash can. Hurry! Before my mom gets-" I looked up to see my mother at the bottom of the steps. "Here." I quietly whispered.

I'm in my room. Via just left from sleeping over. Which didn't go to well. _Ding! _My computer made the noise signaling someone was trying to IM me. I ran over to it quickly so I could turn off the sound. My mom's already taken my phone and restricted me to the house, I can't let her take away my laptop too. I looked to see who wanted to talk. Owen. Great.

**Owen: hey, keely. how's it going, cutie?**

Eww.

**Me: my mom grounded me for breaking her grandma's special vase.**

**Owen: so i guess you can't go out tonight?**

For the first time, I was so glad I was grounded.

**Me: sorry. maybe once i'm off restriction.**

_Ding! _Someone else wants to talk. It's Phil. Phil! Yes!

**Phil: hey, keel**

Keel. I missed being called that.

**Me: hey, phil. what's up?**

**Phil: not much, u?**

**Me: not much**

**Phil: we're still friends, right?**

He wants to be friends!

**Me: yeah**

**Phil: so, we can still hang out together, right?**

He wants to hang out!

**Me: yeah**

**Phil: do you want to hang out maybe sometime this weekend?**

Duhh! But what happened to his girlfriend?

**Me: won't your girlfriend be mad?**

**Phil: we broke up**

No! It can't be. Is my plan working? Or is it just a coincedence?(sp)

**Me: oh, sorry.**

**Phil: Ehh, it's okay. so, about hanging out?**

**Me: i can't. my mom grounded me. sorry**

**Phil: that stinks. what for?**

_Ding! _Oh shoot. I forgot about Owen.

**Me: just a sec. **

_**back to Owen**_

**Owen: still there, keely?**

**Me: yeah**

I couldn't keep using him like this.

**Me: owen, i need to tell you something**

**Owen: shoot**

**Me: it's not really working between us. we need to break up**

**Me: but, hey. i found out via likes you**

**Owen: really? she does? i thought she hated me**

**Me: i thought she did too. why don't you ask her out?**

_**and now back to Phil**_

**Me: k, i'm back**

**Me: vi was sleeping over last night and we kinda broke my great grandma's specail vase during a pillow fight**

**Phil: o, too bad. so how are you and owen doing?**

**Me: acually, we broke up, too.**

**Phil: Poor Owen. he should have known when he asked you out that it would end soon**

**Me: i asked him out**

**Phil: no!**

**Me: yep**

I knew I shouldn't have done that. Phil's gonna hold it over my head forever.

**Me: don't bring that up again. please**

**Phil: one condition**

**Me: what would that be?**

**Phil: go out with me on saturday**

Yes! My plan did work! But I'm grounded.

**Me: sorry, i'm grounded. remember?**

**Phil: till how long**

**Me: two weeks from today**

**Phil: so, wanna go out two weeks from today?**

Duhh!

**Me: it's a date.**


End file.
